Mi Vida Loca

Dear Life,
I swear you had a pause button, somewhere.
Love,
Raye

WTF Facebook Relationship Status

Dear Facebook Friends,

Why am I getting so many congratulations from you, now that I'm in a relationship?  Shouldn't I have been getting congratulated for being my awesome (previously) single self too?  I kick ass dammit!  With or without a man! If I had known I would receive so much attention I would've listed my entire relationship history on facebook just so that I could get kudos each time. 

Love Always, Single or Not,
J

As Simple As That

Dear Boss,


You're not that boss.


Love Always,
The Bluebirds

The Need for Speed is Sometimes Greed

Letter to the Universe.
Dear Idiot who is speeding down a narrow residential street,
You're a Moron.

Sincerely,
The person you almost ran over

I Wanna Be Mrs. Sedaris

Dear David Sedaris,


Could you be the type of gay that could marry a woman? That would be great.


Much appreciated,
Nicole

Melodic NO-core

Dear So-called "melodic hardcore",

 

You are boring.  Please just stop, ok? 

Love Always,
J

P.S. Thank goodness for Random Hand.

Erik Von Detten Saves The Day!

 Dear Bike Thief,

I hope this ends up like the Leave It To Beaver movie, in that Erik Von Detten will eventually find my bike and return it to me.

Love Always,
Diana

Who Let Justin Bieber Out?

Dear Universe,
OMG... seriously, who let this kiddie porn happen... oh, right, USHER!  Which reminds me, I heard Golddigger by Kanye on the way to work. :)  (see raye raye's responses in bold red)

You know you love me
I know you care
Just shout whenever,
And I'll be there
You want my love
You want my heart
And we would never, ever, ever be apart - really, kid, you are like 10...

Are we an item?
Girl quit playin'
We're just friends,
What are you sayin'?
Said there's another as you look right in my eyes - seriously, if i had everything i wanted when i was 13, i would be in SO MUCH TROUBLE.
My first love, broke my heart for the first time

(Chorus x2)
And I was like
Baby, baby, baby ooh
Like
Baby, baby, baby noo
Like
Baby, baby, baby ohh
I thought you'd always be mine (mine)

Oh oh For you, I would have done whatever
And I just can't believe we ain't together
And I wanna play it cool
But I'm losin' you
I'll buy you anything
I'll buy you any ring
Cause I'm in pieces
Baby fix me
And just shake me till you wake me from this bad dream - is this code for a wet dream?
I'm goin down, down, down, down
And I just can't believe my first love won't be around

And I'm like
Baby, baby, baby ohh
Like
Baby, baby, baby noo
Like
Baby, baby, baby ohh
I thought you'd always be mine (mine)

(Luda)
When I was 13, I had my first love - 13?  I wasn't allowed to date till I was 16.
There was nobody compared to my baby
And nobody came between us, no one could ever come above
She had me going crazy, oh I was star-struck,
She woke me up daily, don't need no Starbucks(Woo! ) - is it legal for you to have caffeine? It may affect your growth spurts.
She made my heart pound, I skip a beat when I see her in the street - street?  are you seeing hookers now?
And at school on the playground but I really wanna see her on the weekend - You really went there... Isn't there like a curfew for kids under the age of 18??
She knows she got me dazing cuz she was so amazing
And now my heart is breaking but I just keep on saying...


(Chorus x2)
Baby, baby, baby ohh
Like
Baby, baby, baby noo
Like
Baby, baby, baby ohh
I thought you'd always be mine (mine)

I'm gone
Yeahh, yeah, yeah
Yeahh, yeahhh
Now I'm all gone
Yeahh, yeah, yeah
Yeahh, yeahhh
Now I'm all gone, gone, gone, gone
I'm gone - I'M GONE....

Love Always,
RayeRaye 

Livin' La Vida Gay

Dear Ricky Martin,


Anybody who has paid even a LITTLE attention already knew back in the 90s, dude.  
In other shocking news, the earth is NOT flat and grizzly bears DO get angry when poked with sticks.


Love Always,
Bill B.

Stone Temple Pilots (Are Still Around?)

Dear STP,

Ju don't sounso good now.

Love,
The Universe

You Say Rocks, I Say Raindrops

Dear Windshield,

Why do you have such an attraction to rocks?  Can I interest you in the blue sky instead?  Perhaps raindrops?

Thanks,
NNG

What The FACE

Dear Face,

Please STOP peeling off.  I like you there.

Love,
Rayer Marie

Hit the Nail on the WHAT NOW?!

Dear Judy,
Hammering works like this:  You take a hammer and you hit the nail...NOT THE WALL. Oopsies!
Love,
Myself

(Dear brand new paint job, I'm sorry, Love, Judy)