Hey Hey! You You! Stay outta my fridge!

Dear People I Have To Work With,

Please stop stealing and using things in the fridge that do not belong to you.

the end,

M.

Mi Vida Loca

Dear Life,
I swear you had a pause button, somewhere.
Love,
Raye

WTF Facebook Relationship Status

Dear Facebook Friends,

Why am I getting so many congratulations from you, now that I'm in a relationship?  Shouldn't I have been getting congratulated for being my awesome (previously) single self too?  I kick ass dammit!  With or without a man! If I had known I would receive so much attention I would've listed my entire relationship history on facebook just so that I could get kudos each time. 

Love Always, Single or Not,
J

As Simple As That

Dear Boss,


You're not that boss.


Love Always,
The Bluebirds

The Need for Speed is Sometimes Greed

Letter to the Universe.
Dear Idiot who is speeding down a narrow residential street,
You're a Moron.

Sincerely,
The person you almost ran over

I Wanna Be Mrs. Sedaris

Dear David Sedaris,


Could you be the type of gay that could marry a woman? That would be great.


Much appreciated,
Nicole

Melodic NO-core

Dear So-called "melodic hardcore",

 

You are boring.  Please just stop, ok? 

Love Always,
J

P.S. Thank goodness for Random Hand.